The Psychological Aspects of Peace

 Bahman Dadgostar and Ann Hallock
Pain Management and Behavioral Medicine, USA

Abstract

In psychology, the concept of choice is very important in understanding why some people choose to solve their problems through aggression and violent behavior while others utilize discussion, interaction and peaceful negotiation while being patient and respectful of the other party.

This paper will discuss the concept of using internal mental processes versus using external power, particularly in socio-economic situations. The family of origin’s values provides a strong pillar for an individual's stability.  If disruptive external power impacts these values and the person has no system or tools at hand to repair and heal the social, emotional and cultural wounds, the consequence may be the alteration of lifelong personality traits and often violence and aggression become the manifestation of these impacts and injuries. Many psychologists are of the opinion that moral disengagement in the institution of the family can lead to conduct disorders, drug addictions and aggression and violence. Morality shapes human behavior and personality and human beings are born with this as a part of their psycho-physiological entity.   However, this part of human nature, like many other parts, can be encouraged and have a positive control on a person's life or may become disengaged from the family constellation with disastrous consequences.   

The problem is that in order to discuss the value of choosing peace and peaceful approaches, we must also consider its dark opposite:  that of making the choice to be aggressive and violent, to express anger and to wield power.  Belief that anger is an emotion that needs release can be dangerous since anger can so easily get out of control and become destructive, even catastrophic.  Anger, to be effective, must come from human rationality and human reason in order to be creative and instructive, and to limit and control the destructive tendencies of anger. To learn how to do this, anger management and the control of violence and verbal abuse must be included in the educational process. We call it “affective education”. Through this process humans can learn to be creative rather than destructive and can move the process of anger away from destruction and towards peace and human tranquillity and learn to use their powers for self–actualization rather than for the domination of others.  Finally, it must be understood that anger is a choice rather than an uncontrollable drive, which must be expressed.

We come to the conclusion that making the choice of peace has to be a major part of human activity, which is encouraged within the family and practiced as family members.  It must be taught at all levels of academia beginning in elementary school through the highest levels of academic discipline.  It must be a part of the main constellation of community services and activities and religious institutions.  We must reach for a level of maturity where human prosperity is based on peace of mind, rationality, and the well being, not only of ourselves, but of humankind.

The Children of Humanity are each other’s limbs

That shares an origin in their creator

When one limb passes its days in pain

 The other limbs cannot remain easy

You who feel no pain at the suffering of others

It is not fitting you be called human

                                                             Saadi (1184 – 1283)

[Graces the Hall of Nations entrance to the United Nations building in New York]

The Growth of Human Consciousness

The heart of this discourse will primarily address the growth of human consciousness, the unity of all humankind and the development of the choice to live in peace for the sake of all humanity.  The challenges we face are essentially spiritual and moral.  A vast change in human consciousness is underway—it is a process by which humanity’s spiritual life evolves.  We believe that there is no credible secular replacement for religious belief as a force capable of generating self-discipline and restoring a commitment to moral behavior.   Everyone on the planet has been touched in some way by the breakdown of religious and political institutions, which traditionally have provided stability.   We are currently faced with masses of people at odds with each other.  These conflicts arise over diverse cultural, ethnic, and religious beliefs, as well as attitudes towards education, and a great disparity in economic resources.  Added to this are racial divisions and disparaging or disinterested attitudes towards disadvantaged groups such as women and children.

The search for justice and international peace yields new perceptions of the individual’s role in society and the role of forgiveness, reconciliation, and intercultural relations.  In addition, the sharing of resources and wealth must be addressed.  There is also a need for the involvement of young people and the possibility of youth leadership to ease us into the twenty-first century.

Over the past century, as millions have fled their homelands to escape from persecution, there have been huge migrations of people as families and individuals sought refuge. There have been tidal waves of people sweeping across Europe, Asia, and Africa.   Some have stayed in those places, while others moved on into Australasia and North and South America.

One result of this movement is the contact between races and cultures, which has exposed nearly everyone to norms and practices (foods, religions, histories, customs, languages, clothing, and music) about which our forefathers knew very little.  This has caused a great deal of upheaval.  Beneath all the dislocation and suffering, through shared discoveries and shared adjustments to losses, peoples of diverse cultures are being brought face to face with their common humanity.  This process awakens a growth of consciousness, even as it is stubbornly opposed in some societies, or welcomed as a release from meaningless and suffocating limitations inherited from the cultural past in other societies.  As each learns that the earth’s inhabitants are indeed like the leaves of one tree, they then can see that the earth can become one homeland, and all humans are citizens, not of distinct countries, but of one planet—the Earth itself.   Of course, it can also generate polarization.

Since the title of this discourse is “The Psychological Aspects of Peace,” and addresses the concept of choice regarding behavior, we note that the possibility of choice is inborn and comes from the inner adult ego state, which has a biological basis, yet needs to develop through a psycho-educational process.  We will first address the use of aggression, violence, power, and anger, and we will address the belief that anger is an emotion that needs release.  We will show developmental growth of consciousness and morality as a way of understanding why some people choose to solve their problems through aggression and violent behavior, while others utilize discussion, interaction, peaceful negotiation, and respect of others.  We will also consider the role of family in creating the degree of organized consciousness, reason, rationality and behavior (primarily aggression).

The psychological causes of violence have been categorized in The Psychology of Peace (2003)⁷ with five sets of ideas:

• Disconnects – internal mental processes (conflict within the self)

• The Power of the Situation – external situations impacting mental processes

• Beliefs   

• Personality – lifelong personality traits

• Passions of War – society wide psychological processes and emotions

Disconnects

Researchers who studied punitive behavior found that moral disengagement is the psychological process that leads to the most inhumane behavior because it removes inhibitions to violence.  This type of cognitive transformation changes reprehensible conduct into “good” conduct and can be done three ways:

1. distorted moral justifications

2. comparison to worse conduct, making this conduct seem less consequential

3. use of euphemisms

There are other effective ways to disengage:

• Scapegoating or deferring to authority – displacing or diffusing the responsibility or detrimental effects

• Discounting the Effects – minimizing, ignoring, or distorting those detrimental effects

• Discounting the Victim – dehumanizing or blaming the victim, labeling the victim in demeaning ways; i.e. as a “parasite, defective or deficient, diseased, non-human, non-person, animal, even as an inanimate object or waste product”

• Distancing – hand to hand combat is real and tough, but dropping bombs seems easier

• Doubling – creating two identities—one who does the killing and one who is a good family man.

• Compartmentalizing – people put different parts of their lives into different compartments that they seal off from one another.  Thus their beliefs can be different from their actions

• Intellectualizing – involves a focus on reasoning that allows for violence without the accompanying negative emotions

Therefore, through the use of disconnects, one may have more difficulty seeing that a choice of behavior exists.

The Power of the Situation

Throughout history, while most humans have had a strong aversion to killing other humans, many governing bodies have sent their citizens off to war.  However, one can find many modern examples of men in combat attempting to avoid killing.  Operant conditioning is a label used to describe behavioral modification techniques where a person can be taught through a series of stimulus-response activities to overcome their reluctance to be aggressive in stressful situations.  This has been used by military organizations to overcome resistance to killing.

Many psychologists today warn about current video games because there are fears that many young people are being mindlessly taught in a sort of “murder simulation” by these games which could result in increased violence.  Even violent media as a whole—movies and TV shows with graphic violence, watched while eating popcorn and other treats—can serve as a form of classic operant conditioning.  This conditioning is called desensitization. This can lead to these viewers becoming inured to brutality and insensitive to the suffering of others, thus prone to the choice of aggression rather than the choice of peace to solve problems.

Beliefs

What people believe about situations affects their behavior.

• The Just World View—a belief that the world is just—is a psychological mechanism that helps maintain the status quo even when a situation is clearly unjust.  This creates a false sense of safety and also tends to blame the victim of injustice.

• Realpolitik - a belief that politics is about maximizing power as the safest course. If you are visibly strong no one will dare attack you.

• Machismo – men should behave in a macho way, blustering and intolerant, which may lead to violent behavior.

• Violence is inevitable – human nature, it’s in our genes.

• Retaliation – belief that justice demands a response in kind, vengeance.

• Violence as a Last Resort—the “Just War” doctrine—when injustice is great and therefore violence is justified and deemed necessary.

• Destructive Obedience to Authority – the authority defines reality and its meaning; therefore participants acquiesce to this authority, often a different experiential state from their own.

• Group Think – groups can make much more irrational decisions than individuals would do on their own due to the social pressure of the group.

• Technology – effectiveness can mobilize people to initiate violence.

These beliefs are examples of what can drive people to choose aggression and forget they have other choices that may lead to peaceful negotiation.

Personality

 According to this theory, some personality types may be more prone to certain actions than others. The highly authoritarian personality is more likely to provide political support for a dictator or violent social policies.  The Machiavellian personality is more likely to supply technical support to a dictator by selling weapons.  The narcissistic personality—grandiose, lacking empathy and compassion—can contribute to violent acts and as a leader can cause great problems.  The antisocial personality is indifferent to the fate or feelings of other people, and comprises the cold-blooded killers and sadists. 

Passions of War

According to Eric Berne, renowned psychiatrist and author of Games People Play, (1964)² war is one of the games people play.  It is a third degree game (meaning everyone gets hurt and can possibly die) so it is a very serious “game,” but it is played much like children play to show who has a better toy than others and who has superiority over the other.

The attractions of war (what it is that makes people supportive of war):

• Pride - belonging, helping, a sense of aliveness.

• Meaning – gives meaning to a boring life.

• Target – projection of self-doubts or self-hatred onto someone else.

• Group cohesion – external threat gets everyone to pull together to defend their security.

• Virtues of discipline, courage and self-sacrifice for the greater good of the group or nation.

• War hysteria replaces the anxiety of uncertainty, everyone has a role.

War as pathology:  the universality of blood sacrifice. Religions have ended ritualized blood sacrifice, yet humanity has moved only slightly away from violence as the solution to problems.  War may offer displacement of aggression onto an enemy, and it is now sanctioned and made sacred.

• Frustration – may lead to aggression.

• Catharsis – letting some anger out may actually lead to more aggression.

• Hatred – can lead to intractable feuds and difficult problems.

• Cognitive Dissonance and Effort Justification – if you have put effort, resources and energy into achieving a certain outcome, that outcome must be valuable.

• Conduct disorders, depression, substance abuse, personality disorders, bi-polar and schizophrenia.

There are other pathological pathways that lead to choosing violence in order to solve problems.  When citizens are losing their belief in a leader or government, the leader may look for an outside scapegoat to focus the peoples’ dissatisfaction on and rouse them to war against that group instead of against the leader himself.  There are many scientific historical researchers who go into great detail about the use of scapegoating violence (Violence Unveiled [1999]¹ and Violence and the Sacred [1979]³ for example) and they have found evidence to illustrate that rituals of human sacrifice were used to bind a culture, to help focus the culture and to increase social camaraderie.  The sacrifice, human or other, was used to inspire awe, to deflect mob violence, and to bring people under control.  The ritual was used primarily to restore order.  These rulers were often aided and abetted by the religious leaders of the day.  The end result was to keep or enhance the leaders’ power and induce harmony among the people they controlled. 

At the level of the family or individual, the excuse for war may be, “We love you so we have to attack with a war in order to help you and protect you.”  Or more destructively, “If you do not kill the enemy then you will be killed.”  Basically the idea is to create fear in a person or group (family) in order to get permission to behave aggressively.  This is easiest to do with people who have grown up learning that there are no rights for others and whatever one needs must be gotten with aggression and violence.

“The motivations for today’s warfare and violence can often be traced to deep psychological feelings of ethnic identity, animosity, and an acceptance of violence as an effective way for small groups or even individuals to confront what they see as aggressions” The Psychology of Peace⁷.

Some present day government leaders use war instead of scapegoat violence.  Power-hungry leaders provide the gravest example of this modern violence when they incite their citizens to war against another country by re-asserting nationalism, ethnicity, or religious zeal.  Add fear to this highly flammable emotional mixture of jealousy, envy, rivalry and resentment, and this triggers the values of loyalty and shared purpose to oppose the outside “other.”

CONSCIOUSNESS, especially each individual’s consciousness of the value of their inner convictions and their awareness that they can make the choice of peace, is the only way to avoid this conflagration of volatile emotions. 

We live in an age where we are encouraged to maneuver for social and economic advantage over and against others, even in petty rivalries. 

What can we do?  What must happen to bring about the consciousness that will allow us to find the reality of love and unity in all things and all people?

We need to look at the growth and psychodynamic development of human beings and the stages of consciousness. There are many theories of human growth and development, and many studies on states of consciousness to support both scientifically and mathematically that everything is based on mathematics—technology, communications, the nervous system, thermodynamics—everything, every function.  But mathematics itself is based on the non-material.  Mathematics is based on spirituality: wholeness and integration are all based on mathematics. You can’t quantify mathematics but mathematics quantifies everything.  Everything must be balanced; the lack of balance creates problems.

We hope to tip the balance towards peace and understanding and a new way of life:  to show some of the steps needed to create a world-embracing outlook and to foster a flowering of civilization based on choices made by individuals at the grassroots level.  This transformation will come about gradually, which will make certain it endures.  When people try to address everything at once, invariably what is seen as the solution becomes its undoing.  Peace-building over the long term requires the transformation of society.  This transformation must be based on justice, education for all, alleviation of poverty, and the abandonment of deeply rooted personal prejudices as a deliberate act of choice.

Real peace is individual peace.  Individual peace includes freedom of choice.  Without freedom of choice there is no rationality, because the lack of choice promotes war within the self.  If a person is in conflict or at war within himself he cannot create external peace in the family or society.  Even children of four to eight months of age have begun to realize that they have choices.  Most children naturally look for fairness.  When children are supported in fairness and given choices, they learn respect and justice.  Respect and justice create awareness; awareness leads to consciousness and reason, and from consciousness and reason comes the ability to choose. 

Further we can choose to eliminate racial, ethnic and religious prejudice and the oppression of women and children.  There is only one race—the human race—but there is racism.  The artificial racial categories that people have created to explain differences in facial features, pigmentation and other distinctions have been proven scientifically to be incorrect.  DNA studies have shown that with all our diversity, we are all very closely related to each other no matter where we live on the planet.  Racism is a belief in biological superiority which is a contamination of our rational mind.  Feelings of superiority are not feelings of hate, but they inspire hatred.  We can choose to promote peace and reconciliation.  Our consciousness can help us realize the oneness of humanity and thus uncover the unity of the world of humanity, and of all elements of creation.  All of this takes intention, confirmation and action.

This intention, confirmation and action can only be done by people who have unity of conscience within themselves, from which flows integrity.  This integrity inspires unstinting action on the part of the individual and inspires groups of people to work with one accord for the protection of all humanity.   People who truly love themselves do not harm themselves or others.  Freedom empowers both good and evil, but we believe that opening up the inner consciousness of each would, in turn, confer the values of freedom of choice, respect for justice and respect for the choices of others. 

Children can be liberated from the darkness of ignorance by opening up the concept of choice and helping them to use their choices.  In this manner they can be guided to the light of true understanding.  From that understanding will be laid the prerequisites of concord and understanding and enduring unity.  In loving our children, we have to teach them to be responsible in their choices on behalf of themselves, the family, the community, and humankind.

In order to liberate humankind from the darkness of ignorance to a place where rights and responsibilities, justice and mercy, wisdom and compassion are balanced, we must understand human development and how humans learn.  Of course, many people have studied this in great detail.  There are many moral development theorists and most are in agreement, basically, even on the stages addressed.  For the purpose of this paper, and the concept of choice, we will primarily focus on using the work of Jean Piaget [1994]⁴, but also draw on the contributions of Erik Erikson [1997]⁵, Lawrence Kohlberg[1995]⁶ and Carol Gilligan[1995]⁶ and the Tantric traditions.  Ken Wilber’s approach [2000, 2006]⁸,⁹, is another very comprehensive and inclusive approach; however, it is more complex than necessary for this paper.                                                                                               

The levels or stages of development represent levels of organization or complexity the individual has the capacity to attain. Each stage represents a higher capacity for care and compassion as the person integrates the principles and values of that stage and the tasks of the levels that came before.  These become a part of the character of the person.  The stages of moral development also follow cognitive development; each stage is a prerequisite for the one that follows.  Piaget describes four major stages leading to the capacity for adult thought.  The ability to advance morally in consciousness is predicated on advancing cognitive abilities, but it does not mean that a person will advance morally.  Consciousness as well as cognitive ability can be blocked by family, society and/or the circumstances to which the person is subjected.

Levels of Development

Level I.  Pre-conventional Morality parallels Pre-operational Thought in development.  This is Piaget’s sensory motor stage, Erikson’s trust, autonomy, initiative and industry stage, Kohlberg’s egocentric stage and Gilligan’s Selfish stage of development—in Tantric traditions, this  is known as the first to third chakras corresponding to food, sex, power.  Basically, this level is me; my body; survival drives; resides in a person’s own needs and wants, and is selfish and egocentric.

Stage 1 is characterized by an obedience and punishment orientation.

There is a sense of good and bad but the person is unable to sort out moral dilemmas.  There is a use of magical thinking, “this happened because I did something bad”. The egocentricity of the stage renders the person unable to see another’s point of view.

Stage 2 is characterized by instrumentalist – relativist orientation.  The person is motivated by a need to satisfy his or her own desires.  They may share or may hit back when hit. 

Level II.  Conventional Morality parallels Concrete Operations in development. Piaget sees this stage as when egocentric thought is replaced by operational thought. Erikson sees this stage as one of forming an identity and the ability to share with and give to another person.  Kohlberg sees this stage as one of pleasing others, performing good or right roles, and maintaining order.  Gilligan calls this stage (the beginning of) Care.  In Tantric traditions this corresponds to the fourth and fifth chakras relating to the heart and communication. 

Stage 3 is characterized by the ability to follow rules, to reason and to have a code of values.  Kohlberg sees these values as shared values.  Good boy/nice girl stage motivated by the need to avoid rejection or disapproval. Egocentrism gives way to ethnocentrism and leads to the exclusion of those not in one’s group.

 (Note:  children who become overly invested in rules may show obsessive-compulsive behavior and children who resist a code of values often are seen as willful and inactive.  The most desirable developmental outcome is for the child to attain a healthy respect for rules and to understand there are legitimate exceptions to every rule)

Stage 4 is characterized by a law and order mentality. This level is us; the mind; and shared values and is motivated by a need to take action to keep from being criticized by a true authority figure. 

Level III.  Post – conventional parallels Formal Operations in development.  Piaget sees this stage as gaining the ability to think abstractly, to reason deductively; and more complicated, to reason inductively – from the general to the specific.  Erikson sees this as the generativity and integrity stages. Kohlberg finds that moral values reside in principles separate from those who enforce them, and apart from a person’s identification with the enforcing group.  Gilligan calls this stage Universal Care.  In Tantric traditions this is the sixth chakra, corresponding to the psyche.

Stage 5 is Legalistic Orientation; world centric; all of us; the level of the spirit; motivated by community respect for all, respecting the social order and living under legally determined laws. 

Stage 6 is Universal, Ethical Orientation; the individual’s moral judgment is motivated by one’s own conscience.

Kohlberg (Psychology of Peace p. 64 [2003])⁷ gave the following points, which are relevant in helping us to understand the process of development:

• Stage development is invariant.  One must progress through the stages in order.

• People do not understand moral reasoning more than one stage beyond their own.

• Individuals are attracted cognitively to reasoning one level beyond their own present level when it resolves more difficulties.

• Movement through stages happens when cognitive disequilibrium occurs.

• People look for solutions at the next level when their current outlook is not adequate to cope with a specific moral dilemma.

• It is quite possible for human beings to be physically mature but not morally mature.

Gilligan while researching women’s cognitive and moral development postulated a fourth level of development for both men and women.  She calls this level Integrated. This level relates very well to our theme of consciousness and the ability to make choices.

Level IV.  Integrated.  This level corresponds to the Tantric traditional seventh and eighth charkas, which relate to the spiritual.  Up until this level of development, men and women have a different voice and a different logic that rules their thinking and moral development.  The male seeks autonomy while the female seeks relationship; the male looks for justice, the female seeks to give care and mercy; the male looks at rights, the female sees responsibilities; the male focuses on rules, the female on connections; the male hurts feelings to save rules, the female breaks rules to save feelings.  But at the fourth level, the masculine and feminine meet and become one. A paradoxical union of autonomy and relationship, rights and responsibilities, agency and communion, wisdom and compassion, justice and mercy ensue from that unity of male and female.  Their thinking is no longer dominated by the restrictions of gender.

Development of the capacity for care and compassion for the most part involves decreasing egocentrism and increasing consciousness—the ability to take other people, places and things into account, and to increasingly extend care to each. For each step along the developmental path to a higher level, one includes more and more others with whom one shares a genuine concern and compassion, hopefully until humanity as a whole is included.  We must note that under conditions of stress and situations such as war or other catastrophe, people can and sometimes do regress to earlier levels, even to the earliest stages of survival mentality.

These are the theoretical building blocks of consciousness development.  The remainder of this paper will explain the practical applications for individuals and families to assist them in the generative process of consciousness development to enable the concept of choosing peace to take root.  It will also delve into the problems that interfere with that development.

The science of psychology is a foundation for healing some of the problems that individuals, families and social groups are faced with.   We already know that unbalanced leaders can cause grave problems for the world.  For example:  a leader suffering from bi-polar depression can, in a time of grandiosity from a mood swing, without constraints and aided by the support of opportunists and unscrupulous people, cause great and long lasting suffering upon innumerable people in the world.  Years of mortality, homelessness, hopelessness and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder ensue for innumerable people.  Not only will those who are direct victims of this crime suffer. Media technologies such as television and internet connections make it not only possible but probable that the people who watch and hear about it are traumatized also. 

One war may create hundreds of smaller wars, some of those small wars occur within the unit of the family.  The legacy of war is pain and suffering that goes on sometimes for generations, with broken families, broken people, wounded children, and psychological trauma.  In psychology, we refer to “the wounded child,” and this means the child who has been neglected, abused or otherwise mistreated.  Often parents who are traumatized are unable to attend to their children because of grief and depression; neglect of the child ensues.  Sometimes parents identify with the people who have traumatized them—this is called “identification with the aggressor”—and then they become aggressive with their own children, causing them harm.  Another consequence is the problem of impulse control, leading to acting out behaviors and instability in the home, and the unpredictability of parental care and concern.  The “wounded inner child ego state” stays with the person as they become an angry adolescent and continues (without the intervention of psychological treatment) to become an adult with a huge amount of smoldering and dangerous rage.

One of the worst consequences of violence and of war is the rape and sexual abuse of women and children. These assaults can result in both long-lasting physical trauma and emotional problems.  Of the many consequences to women and children are shame, destruction of self-esteem, and deep anger at the injustice.  Difficulties in being close to and caring for others can be particularly disastrous for a woman’s future, not to mention the burden of family shame and blame to which a woman is often subjected.  For children, similar problems can occur.  Boys especially, but girls also, can become angry, aggressive and violent adults.  Their targets are often people in authority.  Often they become averse to taking direction or working for anyone because of the abuse they suffered.   Sometimes, the whole of humanity becomes their target since their revenge is against the unjust and cruel world of mankind.

Violence perpetuates violence.  Violence causes pathology and imbalance for the person, and from the imbalance revenge may result.  The wounded inner child responds inappropriately to moral decisions.  The ability to think things through objectively is blocked from the adult ego state and the response comes from a wounded rebellious child position or from a critical parent ego state. 

These problems can seriously interfere with the individual’s ability to make choices or to understand they have a choice.

An advance in mental health care and advances in knowledge and understanding of brain chemistry and function allows professionals to give care and understanding that were not available to people as recently as forty years ago.  Now that we know and understand that sexual crimes are about power abuses and not about sexuality, it is easier to help victims understand and come to terms with what has happened to them.   Identifying post traumatic stress disorder and being able to intervene and treat the disabling effects is helping many individuals and families to be able to carry on after a traumatic event.  The recognition that people do have mental health issues has helped to allow many people, who in the past would never have been treated, get help.  Medication for many serious disorders is allowing people to stay with their families and to retain employment.  There have been advances in the care and earlier diagnosis of bi-polar disorder.   There is now the use of psychotropic medications to treat not only bi-polar disorder but other troubling conditions such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, impulse control disorders, anxiety, depression, and many others.  A better understanding of brain electrical activity has kept many epileptics functional without seizures, and has calmed many irritable and explosive individuals.  More effective drugs for the treatment of psychosis has allowed continued functioning and stemmed the degenerative impact of schizophrenia.

However, anger and aggression can originate from what children learn in their families.  Unresolved anger with parents contributes to acting-out behaviors.  Constantly criticizing and blaming of a child can lead to their experiencing a smoldering anger or a sense of inferiority, which may come bursting out in an explosion of rage.  Punishing innocent others is another form of releasing pent-up anger—for example, beating up a younger sibling or kicking the family pet. 

In psychology, we know that the other side of depression is anger.  Some people believe that anger and depression are uncontrollable; however, we have learned that situational depression and anger can both be controlled by thoughts and actions.  Changing how you think about a situation can change your reaction to it.  Suppose you are in a crowd of people and someone bumps into you and steps hard on the back of your foot from behind.  At first you are surprised and annoyed that this rude thing has happened, but you turn and discover the person who has hit you is blind; your demeanor changes and now you are trying to assist this person to find his way amidst the crowd.  The same thing has happened, but your reaction is totally different. 

When our patients come to us with situational depression and anger, we teach them to change their thoughts and to control their actions, and the situation improves.  It should be noted that the biological inborn feelings (instinctual drives) of hunger, fear, anger, and libido are natural, and the energy that flows from these drives is a natural phenomenon.  One does not control the flow or intensity of these drives; however, one does control the expression of the energy of the drive.  For example:  the expression of anger is a choice.  So too is the expression of hunger: we control when, where, what and how we eat.  We make the same choices with sexuality:  we choose when we will have sex, where, with whom, and how we will express our desire.  Since fear plays such a big role in keeping us safe and secure, we have fewer controls about the expression of fear.  Yet when fear is out of control, people generally seek help from others.  Fear is contagious: it is easy to alarm others with our fears and for others to be uncomfortable when we are afraid.  All of these drives carry a heavy amount of emotion along with them.  People can learn that they can control their own emotions, that their emotions belong to them, that they are responsible for them, and they can have control over them.  In order to make good choices, people must learn that feelings do not need to equal actions—in other words, if you feel angry with someone, you do NOT have to DO something about it.  You do have to decide what you are going to do to help yourself handle the feeling.  You may decide to share the feeling with someone, but you don’t need to demonstrate the feeling.  Words can substitute for the action.  This is actually revolutionary thinking and acting; a revolution in human development and consciousness.

All human beings develop a public self that they hide behind in social situations.  Some people go too far or hide too deeply, creating a false self and actually losing a sense of their true self.  Generally, this happens because within a family or social group, people are not listening.  They are too busy demanding certain behaviors from the vulnerable person who fears showing his or her real needs and feelings.  A false self emerges.  When people depend too much for too long on the false self, they find it easy to lie to others and deceive themselves about their true motives.   They trick others into thinking they are good/successful/attractive, and so forth.  Hollywood is all about image; when a person or a culture begins to rely too much on its image, its values become impersonal and the heart of the human being, which is such a rich source of love and spirituality, is deadened and the true values of love and care for others are lost.  This type of problem is also called narcissism.  As cultures and people wake from the deadening effects of pretending and image-making, they become more able to choose peaceful approaches.  They then are able to listen, not just with their ears, but with their hearts and souls.  First, they need to hear their own hurts and fears.  This means someone has to listen empathically to them and help them hear themselves. Once they can hear their true feelings and acknowledge their real self, they will then be able to hear the cries of their neighbors.

We have the tools to help people wake up to themselves and to others.  We know that families can raise a child to be a great source of support for human lives OR to become an enemy of the people.  The world of humanity needs to know it has choices, and these choices can be made available to everyone once global priorities are focused on the welfare of all and on unity and equality.  Prejudice is destructive because it interferes with hearing the voice and heart of another person.  For example:  “I have the answer before you talk, I know what you will say, I know what you want (and I don’t like it!)”.    In reality, the truth comes from the conflict and clash of ideas exchanged in an environment of love and understanding.  For example:  “We see different things, we each have a different perspective; when we put them together we get a clearer picture of the reality of our situation.  I can’t see your side from over here, only you can see it.   Even though we see different things, and say different things we can still accept each other and love each other.”  When we can do this, we find acceptance and understanding, and with that understanding and acceptance we can experience empathy, and from the empathy we can know love.

Love is felt in the heart, deeply within each person.  Art in its various forms expresses this very well.  Rumi describes it in his writings like this: love reaches deeply into the heart of any situation, any condition we encounter.  Spirituality is what connects you to the source of love.  From the source of love there flows forgiveness, justice, respect, generosity and hope.  If one were to think of designing a home built of love for a healthy human being, that beautiful home could be made of four walls.  The foundation of this perfect home is hope, one wall is respect, one is justice, one is forgiveness, the last is reason.  The ceiling and solid roof is love.  The door of the house is generosity, and the key to that house is spirituality.

There is so much potential for the development of higher levels of human consciousness that will empower the individual to think before acting and to make choices of peace rather than aggression.   The growth of unity and concern for all peoples is within our reach, but the danger is that those with ulterior motives —many of them in positions of power because of their ability to keep in thrall their servile followers, followers who are still caught in unconsciousness and a penchant for violence—will fall back on the lowest levels of human interaction and lead us all into unending wars and strife.

The small percentage of humans who have been fortunate enough to develop a higher consciousness through experience, wisdom, and education must work tirelessly to achieve a dialogue with as many receptive and thirsty souls as can be reached. We must encourage each of them to grow to understand the concept of using their internal mental processes to develop the consciousness of the inner self, which, in turn, can lead to the utilization of fruitful discussion, negotiation, and choices to live in peace.  Encouraging them not to be too attached to what has been passed down to them, but to rise above their drive for survival and quests for retaliation into a universal vision of care and concern for all.  This is our fervent hope for the future.

In hopelessness there is hope, walk the royal road of hopefulness.

In darkness turn toward the light, for many suns are shining.

Rumi

References

1.  Bailie, Gil. (1999). Violence Unveiled:  Humanity at the Crossroads. New York: The Crossroad Publishing Company.

2.  Berne, Eric. (1964). Games People Play. New York: Ballentine Books div. of Random House.

3.  Girard, Rene. (1979). Violence and the Sacred.  (Patrick Gregory, Trans.). Baltimore: Johns Hopkins University Press.

4.  Grebb, J., Kaplan, H. I., and Sadock, B. J., Eds. (1994). Synopsis of Psychiatry. Baltimore: Williams and Wilkins.

5.  Kirst-Ashman, Karen.  (1997). Understanding Human Behavior and Social Environment. Nelson Hall.

6.  Longres, John F. (1995).  Human Behavior in the Social Environment. (2^nd ed.). Seattle: Peacock Publishers div. of University of Washington Press. 

7. MacNair, Rachel M. (2003). The Psychology of Peace:  An Introduction. Westport: Praeger.

8. Wilber, Ken. (2000). Integral Psychology:  Consciousness, Spirit, Psychology, Therapy.  Boston: Shambala.

9.  Wilber, Ken. (2006). Integral Spirituality:  A Startling New Role for Religion in the Modern and Post-modern World. Boston and London: Integral Books.